Welcome to my blog!
Throughout my life, I spend time thinking about various issues revolving around the ways that men treat women, what that treatment means for women, what women expect from men, how they then respond to and treat men, cultures that affect men and women-practices who make them who they are and how that shapes the world we live in...
I will post regularly with thoughts, questions, issues and responses I have to various aspects of gender roles. My goal is to start discussions and to learn from all of the readers. Please leave comments, challenge me, pose questions and let's do this... CHA CHA CHA!
QUESTION FOR TODAY: WHAT DO YOU EXPECT OF HIM? AND HOW DO YOU WANT HIM TO GO ABOUT MEETING EXPECTATIONS?
-Camble
Throughout my life, I spend time thinking about various issues revolving around the ways that men treat women, what that treatment means for women, what women expect from men, how they then respond to and treat men, cultures that affect men and women-practices who make them who they are and how that shapes the world we live in...
I will post regularly with thoughts, questions, issues and responses I have to various aspects of gender roles. My goal is to start discussions and to learn from all of the readers. Please leave comments, challenge me, pose questions and let's do this... CHA CHA CHA!
QUESTION FOR TODAY: WHAT DO YOU EXPECT OF HIM? AND HOW DO YOU WANT HIM TO GO ABOUT MEETING EXPECTATIONS?
-Camble
Hi I found your blog through a mutual friend on facebook. Exciting project, I look forward to hear your thoughts! As for your question of the day, if the "him" means you... I'd be interested in reading your take on how to deal with male privilege as a male without falling into the abyss of guilt/timidity that sometimes accompanies sensitivity to privilege.
ReplyDeleteHi Matthew, thanks so much for your comment! So glad you're reading-I really look forward to hearing what you have to say. Great question-and very important. I would start by saying that we are lucky as men to be privileged and that because of that privilege, it is important that we understand women and what they go through as women, which is the platform for this blog. I would never tell a woman who she is or what she goes through, but I think it is important that men understand what women need, how they see themselves and what women go through to make us and society treat them differently. So I do want to talk about these issues because I feel guilty and feel that something is not right in the world with how women are treated. I see people in my life and the way women are treated in different situations (relationships, jobs, families, homes, etc.) and it doesn't sit well with me-I have an urge to talk about it and to do what I can, as a man, to address it and help other men see women differently.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of privilege and guilt, it only strikes a person when they see discrepancy or difference. I hope that my blog can raise the awareness of men to first see their own privilege and then to address it.
The way we are raised and taught here in African villages and in our communities, at least in my experience, is that men are superior to women (no matter how intelligent the women are!). Men are born leaders-women were barely allowed careers 20 years ago-they couldn't be prime ministers, doctors, managers, etc. That is changing in urban areas, but changing very slowly and affecting people's lives. Women in rural areas are forced to move to urban areas, but the ones who remain in their villages remain illiterate because there is no platform for them to excel. Sometimes that is why it is difficult for developing countries to develop because people are moving to one place, rather than remaining in their original villages and developing their villages with better schools that accept women and give them a chance for education and opportunity.
It is unfair and eye-opening for women. To close, I'll quote a Namibian woman, Anisia Peters, who wrote "My only crime [is] being a woman, his only excuse, head of the household..."
Thanks again, Matthew! I'd love to hear your thoughts on reconciling privilege and guilt...
WOW-- I never saw that you'd replied! I'm so sorry!
DeleteSo, uh, 8 years later, here's my response: I like your answer a lot. I really like what you're saying about how hard/important it is for men to learn to empathize with women. And I think it fits with my own thoughts on reconciling privilege and guilt-- that the experience of empathy distracts from the guilt.
AS AN AFRICAN MEN IT'S EXPECTED FROM ME TO BE THE BREAD WINNER OR A SYMBOL OF THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE. WHERE DOES THIS PLACE WOMEN IF SHE EARNS MORE THEN THE MEN? OR THE MEN IS A STAY HOME PARENT.
ReplyDelete